what a life

graduated for almost a year. still not clear what's going on with my life.
everyday repeating the same thing. again and again.
emotion unstable. still

then i had a thought in my mind this morning. what kinda friend am i huh. to all my friends.
how they actually perceived me. as a friend
did i done my part as their friend? or did i bringing trouble to them? all the time

life just getting complicated from time to time.
i tried to be nice to everyone, as i can
but the reality told me not to
human are complicated ehh? everything they do they got their own motive, isn't it?
even myself. & this make me feel shameful to myself

i changed. my attitude. my personality. my perception. my everything
& for sure. toward bad side.
at least i think its not the good side. i think